I've always been a dreamer, i love nothing better than fantasying about life, events & planning what I'm going to do & where it's going to take me. So a holiday, when i haven't had one for years should be the perfect opportunity to daydream, & run through all the ideas of what to do, where to visit, what to take & whom i might meet.
I've always had a very vivid imagination, but i seem to have lost the ability to see anything, to dream....I don't sleep, i feeeeel nothing, see nothing, & I'm feeling kinda lost without it.
Normally, having something to look forward to brings me to life & i have purpose, instead of this lonely dreary life i live, but other than the initial excitement of having booked it, it seems like nothings changed, no feeling of the adventure to come.
You see, someone told me not to dream & I've been lost ever since, it's a part of my being, & without it I'm nothing....what's to be.... It's not their fault, what they said was right in a way, but i don't think they got that the dream was for me, not for real & i needed it; It's like a fantasy novel, you don't necessarily want to live it, but you do want to enjoy the fantasy & fun of it.. that's the best way i can describe it. Things never happen how we dream of them anyway, but that dosnt matter, you can still have some fun with it, as long as you know what's real & what's not, & reality is always just around the corner.
I guess that's why i've been so emotional lately, I've lost my dreams, my little something that helps to get me through, my imagination is blocked & I'm afraid of it never coming back. When a person cant dream, life's just not worth living, nothing to look forward to & no fun.....
Welcome to the real world i guess......wonder how long i'll last in it...
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